Life + Happiness

I’ve occasionally wondered what else is needed to be happier in life. It could be more money, a new car, girls, new clothes etc. there’s an issue with that, because what happens once those things are received? Eventually the novelty wears off and you’re back where you started, wanting something new. I’ve learnt that happiness does not come from materialistic things such as money and cars, it comes from yourself. On a bad day I make myself happier by simply looking around at what I’m fortunate enough to have and I show gratitude for it, this helps me appreciate the little things in life and they are certainly important. Once I’ve done this I come to the realization that ill be happy regardless of my environment, I’m alive and that’s more than enough to be happy about. I’m happy to breathe, to walk, and to love. Another source of happiness is the people around you, you can choose who is and isn’t in your life, and the people that are there are there for a reason. I’ve seen people complain about their good friends and talk about how much unhappiness they bring, and my question would be why? Why would you want that someone in your life to take away your happiness? Most don’t know the answer, and most don’t know they have the choice. If one focuses on what they want in life on a big scale, whatever it may be, that life will begin to take shape. Say someone wants to simply live a happy life, they eventually get the house they want, the family they desired etc, but they are unhappy because the people in their life are taking away their happiness. This is where understanding that a person, a friend or even a best friend will enter and leave your life as it is needed is important. People will try to hold on to the relationships that no longer serve them purpose and it causes great pain. One must accept that once you have you mind set on the direction you want to go, changes will occur and you may or may not like them but the key is to go with the flow. Embrace change and learn what you can from it, learn what you can from your relationships because a friend one day may be a distant thought the next. I’m sure if you think back on your life and to a significant change you wanted to make, you will notice that a lot more of your environment changed to suit your intent. 

There is another source of happiness, and that would be love. Love is on many scales ranging from love for your fellow humans to love for your family and soulmate(s). This is tricky because I’ve found that love can remove your happiness with a vengeance, possibly changing qualities of yourself that you once cherished. There is a saying, “what goes around comes around” hold this statement close to your heart because it can never be more true. Lets say we all have that one person in our lives that has only ever put us down or made us feel bad, made us feel worthless and dumb, not worthy of their affection. And we have no choice but to love this person, on the outside we hate them and may want nothing to with them but deep down there is that love, and it drains your happiness. There are terms for people like this but that is unrelated, now think back to what I said earlier about people being in our lives for a reason, more often than not this one person we love we also hate. That’s because they emit their negativity and we have nothing to do about it, so a choice would be to run away from that person, avoid them, etc. this works in not being affected, but it still drains happiness because its one person that could bring you massive amounts of love. So here is the challenge, we cannot remove this person from our life because they are there to challenge us, we can lose the challenge on a daily basis by giving back the negativity they give by calling them names, or putting them down etc or you can win the challenge by simply disregarding the negativity and loving and accepting the person for who they are. It sounds simple enough but I assure you it may be the most difficult thing you could do, for learning to love something you hate requires you to first love yourself, all negativity and judgements we see in others we subconsciously see in ourselves. If you notice someone as being insecure, ugly, etc, the chances are you have those same feelings about yourself to an extent. So what do you do about it? Love others for all that they are even if they are the most disrespectful human alive, and that same love will be returned to you. What goes around comes around. Practice loving who you are and those around you and sure enough that love will be received, and love equals happiness. 

I can tell from personal experience that accepting who you really are and loving it is one of the most important things someone can do. It’s very difficult to do but the biggest thing is fear, DO NOT be afraid of who you really are! Understand that once you become you, the people that don’t like it are not meant to be your friends, this process makes room for the friends that matter, the friends that bring happiness. I wouldn’t change a single thing about myself because I am happy with how i act and who I am. I’ve began to notice that once I was able to really love myself I was able to show love to those I cared about, even that person that is seemingly there only to antagonize, and that person left my life and was replaced by the same person, only I no longer saw that person as an antagonist, simply a caring figure that only wants the best for me. I am swimming in happiness simply because I’m alive and with being alive comes the people around you, the experiences you have, and the life you love. And what’s at the source of all of that? Love. So if you need to find your happiness, and just look for it in the right places. 

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Life, Our Thoughts, Our Power

Here are some thoughts I would like to share, I’ll start with the present moment, when someone is present it means that they are one hundred percent in the now, they aren’t thinking about anything, not focused on the future or the past. They aren’t worried about what their doing tomorrow or something they could’ve done yesterday but didn’t. Look at it this way, what actually ever exists? There is the past the future and the now. The past is nothing but a memory, and the future is nothing but a dream. Neither of those things exist, you can’t go back and change the past and you can’t live in the future, there’s no way to be sure that we will be alive 10 years from now or ten seconds from now. That being said, what is left? The now, the present moment. The significance of this is amazing for many reasons. Most people live their lives in the future and in the past, they go about their day constantly thinking, thinking about what the weather is like, hoping it isn’t this or isn’t that, wondering what to do with their life, etc. They may only enter the present moment rarely and briefly. The present moment is this, it’s complete silence of the mind, a focus on what’s happening around the person, its much more than that it’s being aware of everything, how your clothes feel on your body, the sound and feel of your breath as air moves through your lungs, the subtle aromas in the environment around you, the feel of your phone in your hands or whatever you may be touching, the sound of your feet as they walk the earth etc. These senses, that awareness grows the more you are in the moment, but that starts with silence in your mind. Think about jumping off of a cliff into water, you stand at the top hesitating, a million things racing through your mind, you finally jump and there you are suspended in mid air. While you are falling I guarantee you are not thinking about anything, for that brief moment in time you are completely present. Then you hear the wind rush past your ears and splash, you’re in the water. To silence your mind you first have to get rid of the “monkey chatter”, the monkey chatter are the random ass thoughts that pop into your head constantly, most of the time you will be thinking of something and won’t even realize it. Start by acknowledging that you are thinking, and then try to focus on the space between your words. Purposely stop thinking. It will seem absolutely impossible at first but a great way to exercise this is to count your breath, lets each inhale is an odd and each exhale is even. So it would be one-inhale two-exhale and so on, count your breath while focusing on the air entering and exiting your lungs. You will probably only get to 5 or 6 breaths and then you will lose count because your “monkey chatter” started up again. Lets say you realize you forgot on an exhale at around 5 breaths, go to 3 and start again. Once you reach 100 without loosing count you will have a slight idea of what not thinking is like. By doing this and not thinking, you are consciously putting yourself into the present moment. When you have the ability to be present for hours on end, that is when you will see how amazing it truly is. If you are able to silence your mind, you can then direct it to focus on everything around you, and by doing this you become completely present, you are truly living. Here is an example, two bikers are on a road trip, one is present, in the now, and one is average, controlled by his monkey chatter. The present biker is driving down the road listening to everything, he feels the engine of the bike, hears the rumble, he is aware of the sound of the tires on the pavement, how the bike feels as he shifts his weight and turns, etc. Biker two is riding his bike, the sound of the engine numbs his mind and he begins losing himself in thought, he is riding down the road but he is only partially aware. A deer is on the side of the road, biker one notices the deer because he is aware, the deer jumps out and the biker is able to maneuver around it, biker two does not noticed the deer because he is mindlessly driving along, the deer jumps out and scares the crap out of him, he snaps back to reality and for that brief moment in time he is in the now, he reacts and avoids the deer. He was forced into not thinking because it was either he pay attention completely for that split second to react, or crash and die in lala land. This is where intuition comes in. Your intuition is your gut feeling, that feeling you get when you know if you make a certain choice something bad is going to happen. It’s that random time when you pull out your phone right as someone calls you, intuition governs those things. Lets say you are driving down a road, you can go either left or right, your monkey chatter is telling you go right but your intuition is saying go left because you have a bad feeling about going right. You decide to take what happens to be the longer route to your destination, but the way that felt right. Had you ignored your gut feeling, you could’ve witnessed or been in a car accident, hence why your intuition led you the other way even though it wasn’t the logical choice. So now you can put these things together, and this is the beginning of what I think is enlightenment. The thing about our thoughts or “monkey chatter” is that it is usually negative, people often worry about random things for no reason at all. They could be driving and worrying about getting in an accident the whole time, suddenly they are on a street where they could go left or right, their intuition is saying go left it’s the safe route. But they don’t hear that because they are too busy worrying about crashing, so they notice a bad feeling about going right, suddenly their “monkey chatter” turns on and the thought pops into their head that the other way is much longer, so take the shorter route because they are less likely to crash. So they take that right turn, ignoring their gut feeling, their intuition, and end up crashing anyways. The thing with our thoughts is that it’s almost like an enemy, a perfect example is when someone writes a multiple choice exam and intuitively circles the right answer but ends up over thinking it and crosses it out and gets it wrong. So take being completely present and put intuition along side with it, you have the perfect recipe for happiness, bliss, enlightenment. Your intuition will never lead you in the wrong direction, it will never make you think you’re ugly, fat, stupid, etc like your thoughts will. It’s like being in a relationship that isn’t working, intuitively you know that it’s time to move on weather you like it or not, you know there is nothing you can do to fix it no matter how hard you tried. Instead of accepting that, your mind makes you think of all these reasons not to move on, going against your best interest. It puts all these memories of the great times you had in the past into your head and makes you think they can come back, it makes you focus on the future thinking it could get better. The same goes for the opposite, deep down you know you want to be with someone, and your thoughts keep you from them by giving you 101 reasons not to be with said person, but where is the reality in that situation? It’s not there, it’s hidden by your thoughts. Another example is someone walking down a hallway in school, they see a group look their way and laugh, immediately your mind thinks “oh, they’re laughing at me” or something negative along those lines. I’m sure some of you can relate to this feeling or think to a similar situation where what you thought was the case actually happened to  something completely different. Humans tend to assume the worst, how often is something really as bad as you think it is? And in the end was it really that bad at all? So constantly throughout the day our minds create these thoughts that make us worry, fear, hate etc. Someone doesn’t reply to a text and we think they are ignoring us, when they could be too busy to reply. You see what I’m getting at here? Now take away these thoughts and what are you left with, your heart guiding you (intuition) and the present moment, as exciting as jumping off a cliff into water. This is where that happiness comes from, it’s like watching a movie you never want to end except the movie is your life and all you ever have to do is follow your heart, accept things as they are, and be present. And that is where the third thing comes into play, and that is that everything happens for a reason. So accepting that everything happens for a reason what could ever go wrong? If you are doing what you truly want to do and what feels good, (being true to yourself), and being present how can you not be happy, you are no longer creating negativity because you aren’t listening to your mind which will go great lengths to bring you down. If you get into an accident what makes it a bad thing? Your thoughts and your mind.. that accident may have saved your life because it taught you a lesson, you drive slower because of it and instead of speeding and dying, you live because you learnt your lesson. Which leads to another thing, in the present moment, every moment of every day there is something there you can learn from that will make you grow as a person. Finally, that leads me to this, some or many of you know about or have heard about the law of attraction, it’s the idea that our thoughts create our reality. Keeping that in mind go back and read what I wrote and you may begin to see the pieces coming together.. if your mind is silent that means you are now in control of your thoughts, so what happens if you start thinking about positive things? Based on the law of attraction it will start bringing positivity into your life. I’m sure all of you have had those days where either you’ve been in a great mood and seemingly out of nowhere things just keep happening to promote your happiness. Same goes for having a bad day, you get upset and your mind keeps giving you more reasons to be upset and suddenly things around you begin promoting your negativity. This proves my point, I urge you to focus on something positive to bring into your life, a realistic situation, put all of your focus towards making it happen, weather it be getting food for free, a small gift from someone, etc. It will happen eventually, it could be in a day, a week, the idea is to focus on what your heart truly wants. Everything will fall into place.

Happiness

Happiness is important, without it we don’t have much. Aspects of our lives are greatly affected by our perception, this could mean that getting out of bed in the morning starts becoming a daunting task instead of being a joy due to a lack of happiness. The perspective is just that, you look at any given situation and because you aren’t your brightest at that moment it dampens what you see. A beautiful sunny day becomes a too-bright, too hot, uncomfortable day, etc. If you aren’t truly happy ask yourself why? Is it because you are dependent on people and your possessions to make you happy, this is temporary happiness, you may be excited about something but eventually the novelty wears off and you seek something else to make you happier. What happens if those things you get your happiness from dissapear without notice.. then what? Are you going to be miserable because there isn’t any one item to make you happy? That answer should be no. It’s important to be happy, so just be happy. Don’t look for things to make you feel better, just feel better about things. For example, if drinking a cup of tea makes you happy, that’s great, but be happy because you have the opportunity to drink tea, or be happy it even exists. The point is to truly appreciate what you have, you have life.. you have air to breathe and food to eat. That should be more than enough to make you happy because you are the only thing that can truly bring you that bliss, nothing materialistic will ever be as effective at bringing you happiness than what you can get from yourself.